原文结构合理，无需所大的改动。在语言上，从句型的变化和微观措辞来看，作者具备了相对不错的写作功底。但是如果能够在微观准确性上有所提高，那就更好。比如reflect在文章应该是主动还是被动，precious child的搭配是否常见等。

　　点评3

　　A flower growing in a greenhouse becomes atrophied when it is exposed to harsh weather by removing its protective shelter. It is a metaphoric illustration that can serve as a warning to us. Pretty much like the flower, we grow up in a comfortable environment or even more than that. We live under the protection of love derived from our parents, our guiders, and our friends. However, sometimes we have so much protection that the good thing itself starts to cloy our mind. We get too much love from people around us; we no longer know the real color of the reality of the world; we take it granted that the weather will always be fine, and that the storm and tempest is nothing but a kind of remote illusion related by a granny in some fairy tale, in which the abominable misery falls always upon those vicious and treacherous people. But reality is reality, in case terrible things do fall upon us...

　　很遗憾文章没有写完，单词量当然也就不够，但是文章美丽的联想已经吸引了读者。作者要注意的是要强化句子的概念，注意句子的完整性独立性。

　　点评4

　　As it is vividly depicted in the picture, the flower is booming under the protection of a greenhouse. However, when it is taken out of this environment, it becomes withered. This reminds me of the children from one-child families. They have the same advantages and disadvantages.

　　Just like the flower in greenhouse, children from one-child families are considered as pearls in their parents’ hands. They had happy and sweet childhood, without a sense of bitterness. The problem appears when they go to school. There, they are not the only pearl any more, and they must learn how to take care of themselves, how to face failures, and how to deal with the relationship with friends, teachers and so on. They lose their umbrella, which protects them from injury. These problems further make them feel confused, discouraged, and shy. As to this phenomenon, I think three aspects will improve and change this situation. First, they must learn to be independent. Regardless only child or not, they should consider being independent as the first step to change this disadvantage. Second, they must adapt themselves to the environment as soon as possible. This is an essential quality they are required before entering into the society. Last but not least, they must stay in a good psychological state. Failures or difficulties will not exist forever as long as they persevere and face them bravely.

　　As is said above, independence, adaptation and a good psychological state are the basic elements to overcome these problems. Practice more, and they w ill find the life is not as hard as it seems.

　　文章在结构上需要对二三两段做出更加合理的布局，二段涉及方法的内容可以和第三段整合。语言方面要注意句子的独立性、词性的准确性。

来源：新东方

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